It is a question I have been pondering since yesterday, not knowing what it means or whether I can even quantify it.But I know I have been far from good, I know I wish I was, but I am not. Now my father was a good man, he took good care of us, I never felt scared from anyone except him as a child (I was full of mischiefs) and he was good to even those who were bad to him. Come to think of it, I was bad to him as well. Never quite understood him, until it was too late.
Maybe being good is all about having a clear heart and a clear conscious, respecting everyone and accepting them for who they are, irrespective of their behavior towards you. And letting go of anger and not harboring any malice in your heart.
It sounds so easy when I write this down, but I know it isn’t. I hold grudges and I have kicked people out of my life for small things. And my tone of voice usually contains a lot more rudeness, if I feel someone is being even a little rude towards me. Worst still, it all feels very natural and part of life. I know it shouldn’t be, but it is.
But I am my father’s son and I feel a burden when I am rude to someone and I do not like that. I guess being rude and being self aware doesn’t go hand in hand. And I need to fix that.
I also have to stop holding grudges and let god deal with the things people do and instead concentrate on what I can do to improve my life and that of others around me and be kind to everyone I meet. Only then I would be able to look up to my father and say with pride, dad, I am your son.