Cappuccino, followed by a latte and then an Americano, recipe for a sleepless night I guess. But it doesn’t really matters, as I managed to finish writing half of the first chapter of my novel in around 3 hours.
As I sat there after writing the first half of chapter, at a crossroad, deciding which way I wanted the story to turn now and what sort of ending I wanted for my novel, for I haven’t yet decided. I had been wondering about the ending from the day I first started writing this novel and I came upon a realization.
Story of novel is much like the story of our life and we alone control the direction of it and also the ending, conclusion or beginning, or whatever you may want to call it.
While destiny and God’s will plays an important role in deciding how our life experiences get shaped, we alone have the ability to choose the direction, we wish to take. No matter how difficult the journey and how closed off our options seem. Truth is, we always have the choice, the choice to be who we wish to be and chose our own path. For we alone can decide the direction of our life and it is important that the direction we choose is the one we want. Irrespective of how lucrative and easy other options seem. For it is all too easy to surrender to temptation and lose sight of who we wish to be. However when you look back at your life, you should never have to wonder for long, if only you had chosen to stick to your goals and purpose of life rather than surrendering, for surrender was the easy way out.
While I still ponder on what the characters of my novel will do at this juncture and what the true ending of novel would be. Truth is, I in a way want to just let it go with the flow and be spontaneous about it and make decision based on what my heart tells me, when I reach that part of my story.
As for my life itself, I have sort of known for past few years what I wish to be and what direction I wish to lead my life to. While each day is a new experience which helps me shape my future more clearly and at times priorities have changed, goal of life hasn’t.
I have always believe in betting it all, if you feel something is truly worth it. For getting a consolation prize in some cases isn’t an option, at least not one I would want in my life. And for that, I am willing to be absolutely ruthless with myself, for my life is what I wish for it to be, now and forever…